Nathalia Buttface and the Embarrassing Camp Catastrophe by Nigel Smith

Author:Nigel Smith [Nigel Smith]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2016-06-23T16:00:00+00:00

“He’s given me a black mark, but because he’d given me two gold stars this week already, I have one last chance to get my certificate,” said Dad, a little while later. “So no harm done.”

They were sharing one of Dad’s pork pies, sitting by a neighbouring field full of grumpy cows.

“Best thing you can do is stay in your yurt for the rest of the week,” said Nat, “then you can’t possibly get into trouble.”

“Yes, but I still need to look like I know what I’m doing.”

“But you don’t! You don’t know anything.”

“I do and I’m going to prove it. I’ve volunteered to lead an outward-bound expedition to the Bleak Peak in a few days.”

Outward-bound expedition? Bleak Peak? What new madness was this?

“Dad, you’re not safe to lead an expedition to the shops. You get lost going to the bottom of our road.”

“Only once, and that was because I was in a hurry.”

“Lift up your left hand.”

Dad lifted up his right hand.

“You’re a menace, Dad. You can’t do it.”

“OK, look. Don’t say anything to Mr Dewdrop, love,” he said. “I need to impress him because I really need my certificate. And you’ll just have to come with me, that’s all.”

“I’m not going on an expedition with you – are you mad?”

“But you’re good at map-reading,” said Dad patiently. “No one need ever know it’s you helping. It’ll be our little secret.”

“Will you owe me a favour?”

“I suppose so.”

“Then I’ll think about it,” said Nat.

Mrs Ferret came bustling up from the eco camp office.

“Mr Bumolé, there’s someone on the phone for you,” she said. “Something about a funeral, but the line’s terrible. It sounds like they’re talking with a mouth full of cake with no teeth in.”

Nat and Dad looked at each other. They both knew it could only mean one thing.

BAD NEWS NAN.

Dad went off to get the phone call. He came back a few minutes later. They were right.

“Your nan’s in Lower Totley and wants to take us for lunch,” said Dad. “I’ve asked permission and we can go.”

Obviously Dad invited Darius along, as Bad News Nan LOVED Darius. Nat didn’t quite understand why, but then again she never understood why SHE was Darius’s friend either, so eventually she just accepted both facts as STRANGE BUT TRUE.

“Dad, why’s Nan actually here?” said Nat, as Dad drove the camp Land Rover into the village. “Don’t tell me SHE’S volunteered to help out at the stupid camp too?”

BNN liked volunteering, although her jobs never lasted long.

When she was a hospital visitor, the patients raised money to send her on a cruise. They said they didn’t mind where, as long as it was a long one, with chances of icebergs and/or whirlpools/tidal waves/Nan-eating krakens along the way.

When she helped out at a food bank, BNN was banned after making more withdrawals than deposits.

When she volunteered to read newspapers for the blind, she only read the bits she liked – the really gruesome and tragic bits – and then added a lot of gossip she’d heard down at the hairdresser’s.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.